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Aperture Innovators Official

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About This Group
A lot of you have been raising concerns about the so-called "dangers" of what we're all doing here. The beancounters told me to tell you that as of today‚ testing will no longer be as mandatory or as dangerous. That's not gonna happen‚ and here's the reason?

Science isn't about why‚ it's about why not. You ask? Why is so much of our science dangerous? I say? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact‚ why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out‚ because you are fired.

Plus‚ in the event of your death‚ I personally guarantee that‚ thanks to the form you were required to sign this morning‚ your family will not suffer the indignities of a prolonged and costly legal battle against Aperture Science. Trust me‚ I am rich‚ and it is a burden I would not wish on anyone.
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Listed on February 08, 2026 | Last updated February 08, 2026